Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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