I have demons in me.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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