'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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