There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
