I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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