there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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