is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
