I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
