i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
