I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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