thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
