So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
