If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
