he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Randomize
