2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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