I molested 6 butterflies tonight
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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