You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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