Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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