you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
