in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Randomize