Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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