5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize