Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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