genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
