Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
