guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
MIDGETS
????
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
