Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
bring money and cleavage
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
