note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
