doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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