Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
