Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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