all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
my poor anus
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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