This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can you bring me the toilet please
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
