I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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