There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
