if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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