If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
