hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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