whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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