He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
