Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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