'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize