if i can run in heels then i can drive
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Randomize
