It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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