Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
