You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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