I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
