i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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