turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
