what if every blade of grass was a penis?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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