Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
