So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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