Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
