i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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