Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
