shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's shark week go big or go home
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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