I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My penis needs a shock collar
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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