Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize