He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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