How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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