That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
