There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize